Sigh

The cold breeze stopped me for awhile here in the midst of the summer capital of the country. BAGUIO. I was away from the where my family decided to stay in for my mom's birthday with just 500 bucks in my pocket. I left my wallet and cp in the hotel room. Never did i realize i walk without my spirit in my human self. I was thinking of one person. Again, its Vanna.

I was waltzing in solitude when i spotted a internet cafe (24-hr open) It was 4am in the fucking morning but still i entered. Something struck inside me. I checked my this blog and now im blogging. Quite sleepy and tired of the day.

Im still confuse of this feeling i have for vanna. Its not just a simple crush or admiration.

This thing is different from all my other crushes, I know. That is why I rose it to the level of an infatuation. Why, I had a crush on Micaela before, but I just wanted to look at her, laugh with her. I don’t care what she does and what she is. I even had a crush on Dess before. I just wanted to look at her, because she’s cute. Nothing more. You won’t see me trying to communicate with hher. But with Vanna, it’s different. I wanted to talk to her. I wanted ttext her all day and nigh. I dream of her. I wanted to know her more. I wanted to know how she is, what she does. I wanted to be a part of her world. Like at this moment. Im thinking of her.

I always knew this blog would go nowhere. That’s why before there was anything in it, I have named it the xenophobia. I am guy who seldom loves but completely and truly. How can anyone give a love that consumes you? How can anyone nurture a love that hurts you? How can you live with a love that brings you the saddest of all London rains?

Her eyes will continue to remind me of this love I have for her. Her eyes will continue to remind me of all of you. But I always say, life always goes on.

Time is a healer.

Time can divide.

Whatever happens to both of us… I don’t know. But I am too weak to hope. I am too weak to dream. I am too weak to expect anything at all.

I love her. But without me, her life goes on. Her world will keep on turning.

Sigh.