Nincompoop

Vanna and i were together last night through text. She's with her family enjoying the show in Zirkoh. Extreme happiness collides superman's hoody-coody cos i thought were going smoothly sailing in the midst of deep-blue sea.

Wala ako sa mood gumawa ng blog today. Galit na naman kasi sa akin si vanna. Which makes this day a total sucker. Sinaba ko na sa kanya na mahal ko siya pero alam ko naman hindi siya naniniwala. Sana hindi niya to mabasa blogs ko. Cguro hindi naman yun mag-aaksaya ng time para basahin to. Isa pa, she doesnt care anymore sabi niya nun. Pero sana nakalimutan niya yun. Ewan.

I remember she asked me last night.

"Inlav ba tawag mo nyan..."

Sa totoo lang hindi ko alam. I never been in love with someone else before. I never been like this before
---> doing bizarre things for a person i hardly know. Giving my ever-expensive attention to a person.

I just could not understand myself lately. I do not know what is happening to me. There are times where I could have time for reflecting on the things I just did.
I hate myself..
Naah.. That's not it..
I hate what I did..
I had been acting strange during the latter of this semester this year.
A feeling I can not even answer a simple query of my pals.
It's just not me.. Not a single tinge of me.I guess I just need to concentrate.
I lost my focus on things. I won't get into the details. I give advices to my pals and those advices were very much beneficial to them. But then I can not give myself one.

The "you cant give yourself an advice" thingy applies here.

Sigh. Its a bit funny, when she text me, all my defenses start to go. I fall so weak on my knees. I get dazed and distrected. Falling near his own destruction. Slowly losing all his senses...losing sight of everything else that's around him. All attention on one thing and one thing alone.

Just Vanna Marie. Vanna Marie Tan and everything about her.

I just got home from school confused whether this infatuation(?) brought me pleasure or pain . I am happy about this infatuation(?) thing in the past because it brought me more boon than bane. Vanna gave me something to look forward to as I go to school. She gave me a reason to wake up in the morning, even when I am short of slumber. She gave me a reason to wear my smile as I enter the door of the classroom.

I am disturbed. In the middle of my accounting exam, I think of you. Before I sleep I think of you. In the shower, I think of you. In going to school I think of you. Everyday, everywhere, I think of you. How could I ever stop thinking of you? Sigh.
But today, it’s pity… because I never got to talk to her. She's mad again.

I placed my bag on my chair, mighty tired from the school. I placed my earphones on both my ears and started looking at the open window on the room. …There is no one else I think of more than you. I can’t seem to forget… I can’t get you out my head. I guess the verdict’s in, I’m crazy over you… How can one be down? Tell me where to start… ‘Cause everytime you smile, I feel tremors in my heart… I have but one concern… How can I get with you? ‘Till my day comes, here’s what I’m gonna do…
Sittin’ up in my room… Back here thinking about you… I must confess, I’m a mess… for you. …I’m just a mess with a thing for you.

What now? ... EWAN. Got to see Vanna thats pure sure.